Is the cake eating 6

[bustorama]

Oh, there it is, so my recommendation would still be:

1) Enforce a boundary (if it is a boundary of yours) that you will not have someone that is cheating on you (or not valuing your M/R) as a part of your life. No accepting visits, calls, or contact from him. "I need space from you."

2) Legal custody arrangement (he needs to pull his weight of kids OR be paying you regularly in kind)

3) Legal financial separation (to protect yourself and kids)

4) If you are up to it, file for D against him as your ultimate boundary enforcement of how you deserve to be treated.

None of the above is vindictive, mean or angry. He can interpret it as so if he wishes. It is a boundary enforcement of how you wish and deserve to be treated in a marital R.

The more that it is YOU pulling away from him, you rejecting him as unacceptable to you, the more likely he is to come back. And, if he doesn't, it is truly his loss, and you will emerge ready to continue your life open to meeting someone who values you, your family, and your M.