Swimming with the Turtles

[zig]

thanks KD - and so sweet of you to take the time.

about self-validating. yes, i was definitely proud of myself AND noticing that i wanted some external validation - it was already there - in h's actions, by him responding differently than usual.

and i didn't see that either. i am NOT saying that his behavior/response was the most important thing here - it's difficult to explain - but the RESULT should have been enough.

i did want to "indulge" a bit - and saw myself doing it, and in the seeing of it understood just that little more how i could make the shift within myself to what you are pointing out.

i really think it was a case of 'can someone else make me feel just a little better for a few minutes because i'm tired of doing that all by myself for so long"

i really really am proud of me - haven't felt so "successful" for a really long time - and it was such a small/ large thing.

i am doing that tonight GAL- and part of my gal this weekend is to box up some of h's stuff and put them in the garage - just start to make some further inroads into really making this space my own. i'm tired of his stagnant left over presence here = it makes the energy in my home heavy

i've already made some huge changes but there are "pockets" around the house that still hold his presence heavily (it's symbolic, because it's the same way in my mind ), and as i go through each step of the letting go emotionally in stages, it seems as if i become capable of cleaning each area physically in the same way.

i have mixed feelings about packing away his stuff - would prefer he did it, and went through that process himself. but he's refusing to - keeps post poking it - every few months. how do you think i should handle it, FOR MYSELF?

i suspect the answer is - do what you feel like doing zig. well i feel like moving his stuff out of my space, but i DON"T feel like doing the work for him!!

any suggestions how to work around that paradox?

thanks KD

hope you have a great weekend

zig