Married 2 years, husband doesn't feel "spark."

[sweetbabyred]

I agree with labug. You're probably going to be tempted to try to convince him why he's wrong and should stay with the M. That's what I did the first few months after it happened.

Even after a year, I have to remind myself that "those convinced against their will, are of the same opinion still". If he's going to change his mind, he has to do it himself. No matter how logical or sensible your argument is for staying together, it is going to mean nothing to him right now.

I'd also advise keeping your library books somewhere H can't see them. He might get the wrong idea from the titles such as DR or DB.

Maybe every time you're tempted to start a conversation with him, you can drive to a coffee shop to hang out for an hour or so and just read your books instead. That'll keep you from saying something you might regret later on and keep you out of the house for awhile. And if it makes him wonder where you're going and how you're spending your time without him, so be it.

[labug]

And the other part of this is to respect his choices.

Trying to show him how wrong he is, is not doing that.

[sophiedaphne]

Thanks for your replies. Should I cancel our appointment, then, or just give it a shot?

[sophiedaphne]

He asked if he should go live with his work friend for awhile. I told him it wasn't necessary and we could go back to living in different rooms if he was fine with that. He said he was. He's moving to Australia in December, with or without me.

[sweetbabyred]

If you can afford it, I'd say to go, even if it's just you. If he decides to go too, great, if not, it'll still help you to figure out what you need to do to for yourself.

[sophiedaphne]

I made sure to find someone who would be willing to just see me. But my husband did say he would come.

[scaredsilly]

"But my husband did say he would come."

when he says, "i want to go, too", THEN is when he's ready. until it's his idea, he won't buy into it.

however, individual counseling would benefit him. but again, it has to be his idea.

[sophiedaphne]

I see what you're saying. Does it mean anything that he went from no to yes, though? I'm calling on Monday again to get an appt with the coach.

[sophiedaphne]

Should I not even go on the appointment with him?

[sophiedaphne]

I feel more depressed than ever today.