The Passionate Man

[Concerned_Listener]

Last night was rough. We returned to the ballroom venue we had taken a break from for several weeks. My W takes it personally that men aren't lining up to dance with her. She has an easier time in the Salsa community. We've explored other dance studios to give her options. We found a small class that we enjoy, even though it's a 1/2 hour from home. I don't know what else to do for her, short of quitting ballroom dancing. I don't think that's a solution, because than we would only be meeting her needs in the partnership. If she wanted to quit, I wouldn't stop her.

I let her mood get to me last night on the way to the Salsa venue. I couldn't get into the spirit of Salsa and sat most of the night. We also couldn't find her shoe, so I drove back to the other studio to retrieve it. I got verbally punished for it. I stepped outside to excuse myself, as I wasn't dancing. She then blasted me for forgetting my meal ticket. The evening spiraled, and I couldn't seem to stop it. At home, she threw the kitchen sink at me, bringing up a host of issues. I stayed outside with my dog, and slept in the guest room.

Ballroom dancing is supposed to be fun. I need to get out and practice socially, otherwise what's the point of taking dance lessons? We can't find a venue that works for her. Classes go fine, practice time is fine, Salsa venues are fine. Ballroom venues where she has to put effort into networking, and where she's fussy about the quality of dancers, doesn't work.

I'm not forcing her to be a ballroom dancer. I would be disappointed, but realize I can't force involvement in a hobby. I've heard for years about her dream to be a ballroom dancer. She can quit at any time, or not renew lessons, or limit the amount of or type of involvement. It seems reasonable to me, that if she's a dance partner with me, than she needs to compromise with me regarding balancing Salsa and ballroom dancing. I'm still looking for the formula that works for both of us.

CL