I'm relieved, at least, because it feels like I've been given a second wind. This week has been busy trying to ask people for their commitment to help. So far I have 4 live witnesses and 2 written testimonies.
Only one of the witnesses (my therapist/preacher) will address directly my porn addiction/recovery.
The others are Christian men whom I've confided and have been held accountable to them regarding my addiction, but more so are able to testify of my changes from the last 2 years, as well as my relationship with our son.
The two written ones are from women - one from my current boss, and one from another woman at church. They are all close to me.
I have to have everything ready by 6/11 (name list, physical proofs), so there's gonna be even more organizing, printing and paper cuts involved.
Alamo, That's great that you have such good references, that will say a lot. Stay strong!
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
Received a call from our local PD asking me to go in to answer some questions regarding the allegations my wife made during court mediation. Our son was with me.
They essentially said that they and CPS will need to conduct their own investigation - they'll need to separately interview our son, my wife and myself. Due to insufficient manpower, they can't start the process of interviewing our son probably for another week. Until then, our son will have to stay with mommy.
If I wanted to see him, it would have to be supervised.
Called my law office and they called the detective in charge of the case. Found out that it was my wife who filed this, and is not a court order (since the mediator's report summed up that there is little to no risk of our son being exposed to child porn or abuse).
My legal team will be filing an ex parte on Monday to inform the court what's going on.
I'm sick to my stomach over this new "development" and that I won't be seeing our son for so-many number of days, but am keeping the faith, literally.
You have to be prepared now that she will stop at nothing. Expect the worst. This is not going to be a fair fight. Sorry to be a downer but am trying to get you to be a realist. Went through a vicious custody battle myself with a spouse who didn't fight fair. It really puts good, rational people at a disadvantage because they can't/won't get in the gutter.
Be patient Alamo. Keep your cool and let the lawyers deal with it. Don't make calls trying to explain or u will be seen as defending therefore guilty. Just step back. Get rid or the pc and use a smart phone instead. Put the pc in storage for a bit. My 2 cents
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
I think you should take every bit of time with your S that you're entitled to, with whatever supervision is required. Don't go without seeing him because of that requirement.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
That is downright evil. I don't have anything nice to say about your W, so I won't say it.
I'm sorry that you are dealing with these terrible tactics.
Props to you for taking a stand for yourself and your S. Prayers going your way my friend.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
Bond - The PD/CPS is not accusing me of anything...it's my wife who is. According to the detective she said that she fears I'm sexual abusing our son and that he had told her that I touched his genitals and anal area.
unbidden - I whole-heartedly agree. I knew she (or her lawyer, family or friends) would do this. Just wasn't expecting this approach. My opinion now is that she's realizing that she might have to stay in CA and not move to SC, and despite that she'll do her darnedness to keep our son away from me.
Rick - What do you mean get rid of the PC? If it's regarding porn, then I'm not worried about it at all. In fact, when I got the call from the police yesterday, I was half expecting them to ask if they could inspect my home and collect any evidence they needed, including taking my PC.
adinva - I'm going back and forth on that. My lawyer advised me against it because my wife could cause another stir if she wanted to, even if she supervised my visits. However, I am also thinking of suggesting to her if I can drop by every evening to say hi and goodnight to him. I really don't know...
LITB - Thanks much for dropping in, man. I don't know what to say about/think about my wife's actions either. Also, would it be a good time for you to take BITS off your signature? Maybe consider BOTS (brothers OUT of the ****) or BCOTS (brothers COMING OUT of the ****).
Tonight I think I'm going to text my wife the following:
"Hi, I'd like to call our son tomorrow before his bedtime. Even better, I'd like to come by every evening before bedtime (your schedule permitting) just to say hi and wish him goodnight."
Not sure if I want to add something about seeing him under her supervision.
Maybe consider BOTS (brothers OUT of the ****) or BCOTS (brothers COMING OUT of the ****).