NG (((())) I wish we could sit together in my kitchen, have a drink and talk!

YOUR journey seems so similar to mine. And the way you have been approaching your path has been inspirational and motivational.

Where we are now really has been a chance to figure ourselves out. I do believe that.

I would like to believe that the people we married are still in there somewhere deep inside. But for now, that person is buried.

I think itis so admirable that younger able to make physical changes to your home. I am still 'afraid' to do that. But I think I am closer to starting that.

Fear...I am starting to understand this has been my Biggest obstacle in my M and my life in general. Actually at work I don't feel fear. It's in my social and personal life. I don't know why I am such a different person in the workplace.

I know it has to be released. I know it leads to anger.

It's like I am standing on the edge of the cliff ready to bungee jump .... I want to let go, but... I am scared. And I don't have my best friend (H) to jump with me. I have to do it alone. It's the final step I know. And the only step that could actually get him to come take the journey with me.

I feel very connected to you. I continue to applaud and encourage what you have been doing. I know its hard, lonely and a lot of times done without any , appreciation ( from the S). But the smallest steps deserve
the loudest of applause. And I applause you right now, in my kitchen, half way around the world. Keep going NG. I am here for you.

TPS
Me: 44 H: 42
M14 T17
S10 D7
10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month
21/04/12 H is 'DONE'
04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010)
July '14 H ends affair
May '15 H moves back home