Swimming with the Turtles

[zig]

oh brit - how you've managed to get to this point where you are in such a short amount of time puts me in awe.

we discussed w/ IC today that it's possibly taking me so long because i have some serious childhood issues that never got resolved AND am going through this process not just for this marriage but the one before. ( i was pregnant with s while it was ending - so i have a big mess that needs working through - and that one had it's whole set of problems that i didn't even know existed!!)

so as i joked - double everything!!

i'm not beating up myself at all - about finding that system to help me - i was glad to take anything that works - even for a few seconds.

i know i'm not in the greatest place at this time frame like most people are, but you know - i've even come to accept that it's not about timing , it;s about just allowing things to happen at their own time. i'm beginning to suspect, that this might take me quite a while to get through and to be okay with that (meaning my own healing)

can't wait to get to the place you describe - where it's random - sounds wonderful

thanks brit

ps friday is always a bit tough for me - when s comes back it's actually somehow easier when i'm on my own - have to change that so it's the same all the time and getting better and better each week