I’ve read DB and followed a lot of the posting on this board. I felt it was time to share my sitch for support and any suggestions. My wife and I have been married 11 years, it’s the first marriage for both of us and we have two beautiful children. Just over a month ago she asked for a separation and we immediately stopped living together.
As a man who defines himself as a husband and father, my worlds been turned upside down. I am now in our home by myself, I was fine with her taking most of the furniture, so it’s pretty empty. This is the house we raised our family in!!!! It used to be full of noise from my family that I love so much and now you can hear a pin drop.
I know I need to focus on myself, GAL, don’t act clingy, don’t pursue her, avoid the “I love you talk”, validate her feelings, have a happy and confident attitude, etc…(all of which I am working on)
We speak and email daily and we see each other 3-4 times a week. It’s usually about the kids, no R talk and most dialog is somewhat brief and communications are usually initiated by her. Every now and then she will cry and she recently told me how hard things are(Meaning the separation)
We will be working on a kids visitation schedule this week but I still think she will be calling and emailing me daily. Yes, I like hearing from her but if she wants a separation, why is she trying to communicate with me so much? Maybe it’s what she’s accustom to for so many years, who knows.
We are polite to one another. She still wears her wedding ring and she keeps some pictures of her and I on the walls at her new apartment. We both love each other but I just don’t know if I am doing the right things through this process that’s new to me? I keep my responses to her limited however I wonder if we are communicating to much? Restoring our marriage means so much to me and I want to make sure I am doing EVERYTHING possible to help increase my odds of a successful reconciliation. Any input would be greatly appreciated.
Me(M):37 W:42 T: 14 M: 11 S: 1 D: 1 W wanted separation 5/5 Stopped living together 5/5
