h brought s and his friend over - he really looked as if he wanted tot talk, so i let us talk a few minutes about s and then turned around and walked into the house.

it was hard to do - as i have taken opportunities always to allow the conversation to go on - i could really sense he wanted to stay for a while. when he sees me doing that he gets all officious that he has to get going in response.

i saw him go to the back and get some stuff from the shed - it got me all ready to cycle back into my "i should go out and set a boundary" but instead i told myself "this is part of accepting that this marriage is over - and when i see signs of it, let it just confirm it further"

did take me a while to cycle out of it - but i did this goofy thing that really worked - i had to make s lunch so i recited the details of every little thing that i was doing while i did it - i'm peeling the carrots, peel 1, peel 2 peel 3 - literally!!

i started to do it out of desperation i swear - gosh , anything that works and it helped - ALOT

me 46 H 38
M10yrs T 11
S10
BD ow 8/11
h filed 9/25/12


"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"