Swimming with the Turtles

[zig]

i know Brit - i thought about that - they do muck US up - and i never understood why until i saw MY pattern and changed that. when i changed the other patterns i was focusing completely on myself - only thinking about why i had to change for myself - sincerely.

but this was the first time, i saw that who i handled it would completely change OUR interaction - and that's why if felt like such an achievement for me. it still came back to me - figuring out where i was still being the fixer, but when i actually got it, it was so simple, that i immediately saw how it could change US.

this one i didn't see in the context of "trying to save our marriage', i saw it in the process of coming to terms with fighting the idea that h was going to be in my life no matter which way this ended - and i was simply damned if i was going to function this way any longer. i think it came from a place of despair that i've carried for so many years on this issue.

When you are calm, confident, and happy others are attracted to that which is what that guy saw!

yes, brit - you hit it on the nail; - that's the explanation for what happened, and now when i read what you wrote, i see it in all my interactions these days - people seem to be drawn to me in ways that i've never known before, even when i am being really emotional.

even the guy at the applecare help desk - by the time i got off the phone with him we were practically flirting !!

i'm glad you pointed that out - that was is more than my initial reaction which was "am i attracting someone else into my life" which was worrying me a little!!

thanks for the encouragement - and you're right - sometimes the huge turmoil brings the inner movement and breakthrough - now i just have to learn to do it so that i don't have to put everyone else through while i go through it.