people like me - we say yes and mean it literally - people like our S's - it seems that they simply don't know what they like or don't like and so don't feel any confidence in making decisions one way or the other. then after they say yes, they are second guessing themselves in a way that is completely incomprehensible to us - and i think the complaining and negativity is the surface symptom.
haha you and I are very alike and I think our H's are as well. or maybe because we're alike we met similar people. who knows.
You're right I don't miss that. When I was "ruminating" about it (I really like that word Zig) what kept coming to mind was how I said I wanted to live with integrity. Integrity is not bad mouthing your GF's hobbies to your W. It used to drive me insane that he would complain for days that he had promised to do something for his mother at the weekend. When I would suggest putting it off, he would say no,, no...and I used to say I think you enjoy the complaining too much. If you didn't have anything to complain about THEN you wouldn't be happy. IMO it's no way to live. But we're different that way. It did lead to second guessing and walking on eggshells.
Today the only thing of note that happened was MIL texted me to say that she showed the picture of the dog with a sign that said Happy Birthday "to everyone" MIL bought me dog and raised her for awhile and adores her. So I thought it would be cute. But when she said that I was worried that "everyone" meant that at MIL's bday dinner which more than likely included H and GF she passed around the pictures. Also because MIL likes the drama. It wasn't my motive, but it did make me feel slightly uncomfortable.
And Zig isn't the only getting noticed. A guy came into my work who teaches a dance class that my friend has been bugging me to go to since she found out me and H split. She said no one goes in couples there's loads of men and it's a lot of fun. He was STUNNINGLY handsome. Not completely sure he was straight HAHA but the receptionist said..he hung back to talk to you...you should go to that class. Interesting is all I'll say.
