You know that yelling, screaming, and pushing her were absolutely abuse, right? Just so we are clear, you emotionally abused her by yelling and screaming in her face (it's minor but it's still abusive) then you physically abused her (and don't go into the 'but I was only trying to blah blah blah') by pushing her down. None of that is acceptable in any way.
Now you say you can't stop messaging her and asking about OM and want to message her and tell her you are coming home? These are not the actions or reactions of a loving spouse.
IMO, you need to go and have some professional help before you can begin to try to heal your M. Have you done that? Have you sought counseling from a professional? If not, do it now.
Until then, there really isn't anything more I can say.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
