"She wants to do things that are short. She wants to meet for drinks after work on Friday. I will be declining this invitation. What if I said I couldn't make it after work, but could do it after I put the Ds to bed, so around 10:30pm? Most likely she will say no. But if she says yes, then she can't make plans with others that night. I won't be Plan B."
The reality is, you are always Plan B when OM is in the picture or if she's looking for someone else to date. You can't have a healthy monogamous R with someone who is looking for it with someone else.
That's why it's really not in your favor to do things with W right now because your mind is in one place and hers is completely somewhere else. Too easy to get your hopes up and just causes you to backslide in the end. Get stronger and more confident in yourself and your life without W and then doing things with her won't be such a big deal. You truly will not have expectations.
Things I've learned...
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
