They all stick to the same script! My xh said much the same sorts of things - wasn't sure he would end up with the OW, but he deserved to be happy.

In so many cases they display the same pattern - frustrated career path [even if they have done well according to any objective measure] messed up childhood, and a rigid and un-self-reflective personality. They cannot be wrong, and if life hasn't delivered what it 'should' they do not count their blessings, but look for someone to blame.

There is no distinction in being the OW - if it wasn't that one it would be someone else. They are the focus of what they believe they want out of life, and the escape hatch, and a load of other total bs. Many of those who do not work through their MLC drift from one relationship to another. My xh is a case in point. The original OW lasted on and off for about 6 years, although it was rocky for most of that time, and objectively he was clearly much less happy than when we were married. He is now on his second or third relationship. The kids do not want to know, and I certainly don't.

As I have written, my xh is stuck in a post MLC limboland. I would say no happier than he was, and probably less so. He sees his adult kids a couple of times a year for a brief meeting. Most of his old friends are out of contact with him. He seems lost and drifting, which is exactly where my therapist said he would end up. We have all reached out to him over the years, but he clearly wants nothing beyond a superficial relationship to convince himself that all is OK.

I have worked through it. Still sad at times at what I lost, but pretty good most days, which is fine. I look at other couples at times, and wonder where my life went. But equally I am happy alone. I went through the stage of seeing everyone else as a couple, and then i thought about women i like and respect who are on their own, and I thought that was the kind of person I wanted to be - not the other half of a couple!

You are at a vulnerable stage, and I would urge caution in dating. A few people manage a successful relationship in the early stages of their divorce proceedings, but I think you need to be very clear on why you want to date, and what you want out of it. This is not a red but an amber light - caution. And good luck.