I wish I could turn off my thoughts and quiet my mind. I have been thinking of everything from how his R can't be real love....and did his ex think that way about me. And did he tell her the same things he told me post break up. But then I push it all out of mind reminding myself of differences. He didn't marry her, she never met his family. Then I think about all the warning signs during our marriage how we never talked or worked things out the sex issue hos I'd had one foot out for a very long time and his away his anger and resentment for years. I don't want to think about these things. I thought by June I'd be farther along. There were so many things wrong with us and I've been so optimistic for so long.
When he came to my house and talked about them going to that even Tues night and how miserable he was and he talked about it in terms of how he thought it was ridiculous. And I went away thinking this is what he does. Agrees to things goes along and then bad mouthes it. Either say it was important to her so I went or don't go. This was a constant in our R and I always felt as though I was dragging him along to things by the end. Or maybe he felt he could say these feelings that he didn't enjoy the event to me (because I wouldn't have either) and I would understand. But is that who I want in a R someone who goes along and then bad mouthes it to his W?
