When I spoke to the counselor, he told me that I should try, one last time, to ask him to come to counseling with me. I said, it's not use. He thinks he's leading me on. The counselor said, well, you would need to be the judge of that, wouldn't you?

I thought about it, and texted my husband afterwards. I said, I really appreciate you taking the time to tell me how you're feeling (I would normally not say this). I know it was hard for you, but it means a lot to me. He wrote back and apologized for not having been able to say anything sooner.

I said, I know we have a lot of issues that can't seem to be resolved, and I am preparing myself to move on from this. However, I do feel as if I need to know that we both did everything we could before we really went through with this. I asked that he just consider counseling again. I said that I wouldn't feel led on. I would have no expectations. If it didn't help I wouldn't pursue it anymore. He said he knew it wouldn't help.

So I said, well, what if we make a time constraint? Like, if in a month you don't feel it's working, we can stop doing it. And he said, Well, I'll think about it, but that's fair and reasonable. I thanked him and told him that I appreciated it and promised him that I wouldn't hold him to any expectations. I'm going to act "as if" this is going to help us. I am going to act "as if" he wants to make our marriage work.

He thanked me for talking to him calmly. I apologized for moving the money without asking him. He said he appreciated that I moved it back. This is openness that we've never had. I guess these are the first "baby steps." He offered to pay for a hotel for my mother. I decided that my mother doesn't need to come this week. It will cause more tension than is necessary.

I am going to find someone who is pro-marriage.

I know my goal was to sever and detach, but in this case, he initiated the conversation, so I felt it was appropriate to respond. I was able to show him that, despite such an emotional moment, I was able to reason with him rationally and calmly, and he instantly noticed. This is a big step for me.

I think that perhaps I can really do this 180 thing. Maybe combined with the counseling, this can work. I feel slightly more optimistic (although I do know I could get a message at any time that says he has decided against it) but it sounds like he might be willing this time. I certainly hope so.