So in your situation how did you (or anyone) walked the line with filling your spouses love bank and pursuing? I know that one of my w's LLs is words of affirmation. And let me tell you -I dropped the HELL out of that ball. I just never thought that anything that I could say would make her feel better about herself if she didn't feel good about herself on her own. Looking back, I could kick myself for that flawed logic.
Now when we are on an even footing and getting along I try to be more overtly flattering - I have leanred that it matters. But does it look like a blatant attempt to win her back? Almost like a "say anything" strategy??
I DO see your point about filling the tank - I just don't know if I cross lines. For example - today I sent her a text out of the blue (she is on vaca with S in SF) saying "Bet you're one of the prettiest girls in the Bay today! Have a good time and give my little guy a squeeze from daddy!". She immediately responded by sending me a pic of S at an aquarium gazing into a massive fish tank. No words - just the picture.
Pre-bomb, I know a statement like that would have made her feel great. Would it still now? Or would it be like the creepy guy at the bar hitting on you and you just wish he would go away? Is it pursuing??
