There is no place for the OW in your M. If you get the opportunity to talk about it, keep focus on your feelings to help him understand the impact on you. Here's sort of an example from a book I read recently:
When I see you doing things for me and interacting with me, it makes me feel hopeful and that we can do this. But when I find out that there are still conversations going on with OW, I feel like its fake and that I'm just kidding myself
(No idea if that's how you feel, just writing for an example).
My IC gave me an opinion that DB is great for creating a more calm and open environment and removing the chaos and anxiety. Then at some point, this improved environment should be leveraged to deal with the emotional level of the issues at hand. If those aren't addressed, the old practices can more easily be trigged to return.
I hope you get the opportunity to actually talk about what is taking place and how its impacting your R. You're great to be patient with your H on this, but its ok to know in your heart that this OW has no place in you M and IMO, its ok to say so when you feel the time is right.
(((Ro)))
Thanks Ces. Oh we've talked about it, but not in any kind of rational calm way. I'll think about how you phrased it. Maybe if I do it that way, he'll get a clue.
I agree that DB helps create a calm and open environment. But right now, I don't feel patient. I feel stupid. I know I shouldn't, but I do. Somewhere deep inside I think I know that my M is over. Maybe I'm just stalling the inevitable.
