Correct, moving forward sounds better and is closer to what I feel. We were married 18 years ago, not something I am going to throw away without trying everything. I am though going to move to another phase, I just hope she is with me.
And if she isn't ?
Originally Posted By: UKVA
Getting inside my W's head right now is tough. She presents a very hard exterior to me, not her way at all. My sense is she is being coached by what I have heard referred to as "the sisterhood of the WAWs", a group of divorced (many multiple times) women who while interested in the drama are not emotionally invested in our situation. No doubt she is conflicted, one of her greatest qualities is trying to always do the right thing, but here she is not sure what is right. My sense is that she wants to act with me as if the D is a foregone conclusion to ensure I don't "get the wrong idea", but that she is far from sure. Early in our MC she said it would be possible to stay together for the kids and the lifestyle, but I don't think she sees it that way any more. Nor do I.
Yea....don't put too much thought into her head for now. What she feels today, will more than likely be different from what she feels tomorrow.
All you can do, is to respect what her choice is, up to this point. And that choice is to leave the marriage. And it will be her choice consistently...until it isn't anymore.
Your role is to remain equally consistent in your actions and changes. ( notice I didn't say anything about telling her about your changes).
Originally Posted By: UKVA
My theory is that she is in MLC, but I will get reading and find out more. The tipping point was a combination of FB and a 30th high school reunion last August, although she would say, and I would agree, things were not great beforehand. But I read so often of that mix being the catalyst for MLC. I do want to learn more about the phases, process, and outcomes.
MLC....whether it is, or isn't....
You still played a role...
What do you think your role was ???
Originally Posted By: UKVA
Your advice about separating the marriage from the protection is very sound. I will make that my next step. If your are in my general area, and this board allows it, do you have any recommendations for a L? And I did not mean to say things would work out fine without a plan, just that I do not fear the future.
From what you say....about 45 min North
A name ? No
What to look for ? I can
I personally think that you should pick 3-4 Lawyers that you like, and then, include the meanest, nastiest Lawyer within 30 miles. Do consults with each of them about your rights and their thoughts.
Pick the one that is willing to work FOR you.
Your Lawyer is your Pit Bull, that attacks at your command. Yet lies in the corner until you say differently.
Not one that barks every time the mailman stops by
Plus with the consult of the meanest one out there...it is kind of like an insurance policy because your spouse can't use them against you.
Think only of your protection, and that of your children when you think Lawyer. Think of being on the defense when you think of them. IF the time ever come for you to attack, then you will also have the correct person.
For now though, a Lawyer is ONLY to know your rights, and to protect yourself.
You don't want to ring any bells that can't be un-rung.
