Bklyn, We (three posters) have basically said the same thing, keep it as a business deal, leave your personal emotions out of it and do not use AA or Al-Anon as a bargaining chip. By doing so, you are setting yourself up as trying to manipulative and/or control him. A mlcer will not go for that. In fact, they become even more stubborn. Also, mlcers can't focus on too much of written word, i.e., keep it short, simple and to the point just as verab has done for you.
You are not dealing w/a rational individual right now. His emotions are what are driving him.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
