Bklyn - I would think again about sending this. I have tried to reduce a little of things that are your emotions and things that are legal advice that should be kept between you and your father:

Originally Posted By: BklynMom
Here is my updated letter I havent sent it yet and have given thought to not sending anything just saying no to the meeting.
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Regarding a 4 way meeting. My father has strongly advised me against this meeting since in his experience woman usually agree to more then they should at these meetings in an effort to please their estranged husband. I would not share your father's legal advice with your H.I however am not opposed to such a meeting but I agree with my father that from a legal stand point it is not in my best interest. Initially when this situation arose I begged of you to attend marriage counseling with me, you declined. Now I could graciously decline as you did but I am willing to do the meeting in a trade. You go to 3 AA or Al-anon meetings and I will agree to a meeting? What do you think?

PS. Please do not misunderstand the purpose is not for us to get back together. Rather it is for us to better communicate with each other as we co-parent and perhaps for you to better understand me. I have learned and witnessed at Al Anon how people can share their innermost feelings, can better communicate with each other, in a non judgmental environment, and still be unconditionally accepted. I wish while I was growing up I had been more open with both my Mom and Dad. Instead I kept it inside and I have suffered because of it. Your going would facilitate the meeting and make it much less emotionally difficult for me.


Given that you were just posting about showing your H your top 3 reasons for wanting to reconcile, I think what you had initially written really goes against that. If you shorten it to . . . I am open to it to better communicate while we co-parent - I think you are closer to showing H that #4 is not the 90% he thinks it is.


His request for the meeting does strike me as odd. If you do go, I would be silent, not say anything, and be upfront that you will not be agreeing to anything. You will need to be cool, calm, collected, and confident. Can you do that? If not, I would really question going.