I can't even sleep. I woke up at 5am this morning and have been teary for the last three hours. So many thoughts of happy memories are going through my head. Every hug, every trip, every kiss, every "I love you." How does one just forget about that? The time in Adelaide when we stood by the fountain and tried to get the stupid camera to take our picture automatically. The time he had a job in another state so I walked around the mall and he and his friend picked me up a few hours later and I was so happy to see him. The time we went to New Zealand and briefly considered moving there one day. When we looked at a house together and considered buying it. Even two weeks ago -- we went out to dinner and laughed and talked about how funny it would be teaching me to drive on the other side of the road and how nervous I was about it.
How did we get here from there in such a short period of time? How do I stop thinking of these things without completely breaking down?
I wish I had just sat next to him and said, "I really appreciate you and everything you do for us." I feel like even that would have made a difference.
