25 - to answer your question I guess part of me doesn't see her sending pictures as a positive sign because all it means to her is "let's just be the greatest co-parents ever!" and I don't share that enthusiasm just yet. If that is all we are to be, then over time I am sure I will adapt to it - but it's not a switch I can flip right now.
Also, I hope you are right about positive memories. Seems like I have given a lot of time and space - but nothing really "positive" about me leads her back home....at least as far as I can see anyway. I am really thinking about posting parts of the letter she wrote....filled with positives, but still she seems to want to walk away. Bah - no matter, I am where I am.
As predicted I am thinking a lot about my boy with him being so many miles away. Irrational fear, but I always worry that one day he will detach from me and just want his mother. She has the ability to take him places this summer due to her schedule and the money I have to give her. The loss of that money leaves me unable to the things I would like to do with him...travel, etc. - it just seems unfair.
Need to shake off the sadness a bit. Doesn't do me much good right now - but it is hard to avoid.
