Please someone out there, I need some help. Yesterday afternoon W texts me that the lawyer will be mailing out papers today. I knew that this day was coming. I had thought that maybe because it had been eight days that she was struggling with her decision. It hit me hard. I texted her back. Why did it take so long.? The papers were done in February. I told her I would have given the separation a year. Are you sure this is what you want?I could feel all my DBing going right out the window. I got angry. I called her. I was not texting about something this important.
I might have mentioned this earlier in my posts, but I will refresh so people dont have to go back. Years ago I was working on taxes and wanted to see how much of my cell usage was business related. I noticed that we were not getting paper bills anymore. I called the server to inquire why. They told me that it had been changed to Internet billing. I said that was fine, how do I get on. They said you need the password. I said I need the password. The account is in your wifes name so we cant give it to you. So I called W and asked for the password. She said she wouldnt give it to me. I got mad and went to town to confront her. She met me in the hospital parking lot. I said I want that password. She said trust me please. And nothing else. We went around and around. Still no password. Trust me. I finally just decided to trust her and dropped it. Has the years unfolded, and other things came to light, this just started to eat at me. What was she hiding. Why did she feel that she needed to test my trust. I trusted her with my life until that day.
I told her yesterday that I would not sign papers without some answers about some of the things that she had done in the past. I wanted three years of cell bills or no signature. I was not going through the rest of my life wondering what was going on with her. I was finally going to stand up to her. And now here I sit, four am, wondering if I should of just signed and let her go. Or fight to find out what the hell is going on. So many of you found out that there was a OM. I may go through the rest of my life never ever knowing. She at least owes me that. How do I cope with not knowing this. Please give me so insight out there.
