I just vomited all over a conversation I had with H right now. I brought up old stuff (affair stuff) and used it against him. Told him I didn't want him coming over anymore. Told him, he treats everyone better than me, even acquaintances. Told him, I'm tired. Let's just assume he's never coming back and go about our day as if he's never coming back. I said, I'm not telling you I don't want you to come back but I'm tired of ignoring the elephant in the room. Let's just leave it as if you're never coming back.
His response, I appreciate you more now than before. You're the mother of my kids. It's important to me that you are ok. You treat me better than anyone and put everything I've done to you aside.
What sparked my upheaval? I had 1/2 a glass of wine on an empty stomach (I'm a light weight!) AND... I'm tired of waiting. My patience is running out. Al Anon teaches me to detach with love, I just pushed him off a cliff! PLUS! I set out some food for him and S4 and he said, thank I really appreciate it.
I hate that he says that cuz he never used to say that before. Do I sound like a lunatic? I would have rather appreciated, thank you (Veronica). that's it.
he called after. we talked. i backpedaled. it worked.
i don't want to DB anymore. I want to take the train to acceptance.
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
