i think i'm just puzzled - i read other people's posts and they ask similar kinds of questions about what to do and how, and get concrete responses on how to handle details in their sitch.
when i ask for help, it seems as if i can never just get an answer, but instead there's all this crazy discussion and i land up looking rudderless in all of it.
what am i doing different, or what do you see i'm really doing here. could i be asking in a different way that would get me some kind of answer?
i'm about to have this stupid conversation with h at 10 tonight - i called to say good night to s - he picked up and said "i know i said we'd talk tonight about the schedule and stuff, but can we do it tomorrow because a friend stopped by."
third time in 2 days he's put it off.
i replied "well, seems as if i don't have a choice"
he said "well i guess the alternative is that i can call you back later after i put s to bed and we can talk for 15 mins"
i replied, that yes i would appreciate that very much as i would like to know how the rest of my week is going to go
and now after all this discussion on the board etc, i can hardly even remember what it is i want to say or how to say it.
i talked to s for a while, but i didn't dare ask him whether he wanted to stay just till friday and stick to the schedule or change it - i couldn't figure out whether it was right to ask him or not to decide - so i didn't do anything.
i am rudderless right now, and could really use some support here.
and thanks for all the time you've spent with me today - i really appreciate it.
zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
