Something The Boys And I Have Noticed

[tadpole1025]

Thanks everyone. Just thought I would come and respond to some of the comments.

Thank you for really being open and honest of your feelings and venting here.

Just writing what I feel. This forum has helped a lot.

I will say this to you. Remove her from your friend list on FB and close all comments of your mutual friends so that you don't see ANY postings about her.

I'm actually blocked. I can't see her page and she can't see mine. I had just heard about her posting from a friend.

You are living your life with the hope that somehow she will come out of her MLC problem and fix everything. But she has been so vile to you, you shouldn't want her to fix things. The idea that you want her to fix things/set your world right despite the fact that she has brought so much abuse onto you says one thing: it says that for some reason, you value yourself very little, that you would be willing to take the abuse to be with her.

I don't know. I guess what I am looking for is some kind of acknowledgement that what she did was wrong or maybe that she really is going through something. Sometimes I wonder if it isn't MLC and she really was miserable, BUT she'll do or say something that totally convinces me that it is.

Mlcers are like children and they feel jealous, resentful and yes, even are bullies throughout mlc. They do not like the fact that we are strong, independent and happy people. If they are miserable, they want us to be right along w/them.

But why be jealous of someone that she no longer has feelings for?

I had read on Hero's Spouse that traditional marriage counseling or any sort of marriage counseling book can't help the marriage hit by MLC, because there's just no getting through to the MLCer.

Very true because IF you are lucky enough to even get them to go, they've already checked out. My X told the counselor that she wasn't coming back after just three sessions. Then, just a few months ago, blamed me for cancelling the sessions.

In your case Tad, you don't know she's happy. Maybe she is and maybe she is trying to hurt you. Maybe it's part of the fuelling the fire. A child like way to get your attention. Don't let it bother you, Tad. You wouldn't be happy with her as it is, so let her go. Focus back on what matters - you.

You're right AJ. As Kimmerz has said, it is probably a blessing that she is out of my life right now.

Update:

This past Saturday she sent a text saying that she is enrolling S17 in an online summer school to make up for credits that he lost when allof this went down. I said ok.

Ten minutes later, I get a text wanting to know the name of the hospital that I live by. I told her.

A few minutes later, I get a text from her wanting my email address and I gave it to her. (She already knew it.)

Then I get a text asking for my physical address. She knew that already too. If she didn't, she could have got it from paperwork or from S17 who was with her.

About an hour later, I got a text stating that she will email or text the online school info to me on Monday. It is now Wednesday evening and not a word from her yet.

Tad