I think it's up to navy to tell us, but I the impression he is still very afraid. I don't blame him either it is very hard to walk away. Furthermore it has been my experience from this boards and from myself that whenever there is a respect problem incrementally standing up for yourself can change a dynamic over time.
As for specific examples I can't say since I'm not Navy, but I can relate my own.
My W used to explode over the littlest things. I made it clear that doing that not only would not work in getting me to do things, but it bothered ME and I would not tolerate it.
I promised her I'd do my best to do things like turn off lights, but if I slipped she had no right to lose her temper to the intensity that she did.
Whenever I'd slip up and she'd lose her temper I'd just calmly look at her and say "if you're going to talk to me like this, I'm not going to do it"
On the other hand if she went about things nicely I'd make sure to go out of my way to do things well for her.
When she blamed me for things I would tell her that I was sorry she felt that way, but if she was so unhappy the door was open.
If she stayed, but remained angry with me, I would in the gentlest way possible tell her I care about her and want her to stay, but it she is so miserable, maybe she should leave.
I think for my W she felt trapped by me and the marriage. I have worked hard to make it clear to her that she indeed does have a choice, but if she chooses me she can't blame me for everything.
