I found something ironic and thought I would share..... H comes home and watches re-runs of the x-files.... all the while he could be a freaking episode seeing as how he's been abducted by aliens! LOL
I've also been doing some thinking, dangerous, I know. I wonder how I would be able to trust him ever again (if that ever became an option, I guess that's optimistic of me to think).... I mean everything is such a secret, all the cash being taken out, never throws receipts out here, randomly doing his very small load of laundry tonight after I saw a shirt he would wear to work had been left in his car last night. But then he did have some of his shooting stuff, so he could have gone to the range. He must have brought it in while I was outside weeding the garden tonight..... just odd that he would have to do that little bit of laundry tonight...of course he could always be trying to mess with my head too, since he seems to think I have some secret double life going on with my friend and her car he doesn't know picking me up LOL....
Then I got to thinking, if I did find out about a PA what would I do? Would that ever be forgivable?? I really feel like I don't want it to be, or I shouldn't.... but then I think would I? Then wouldn't I just be a door mat..... shouldn't he just have to suffer the consequences of his mistakes.... but then I would be punishing myself too.... but the betrayal already feels like too much some days..... Thinking about it all just makes me sad..... on the up side I'm not anxious or on the edge of a panic attack.... just sad.......
