I wouldn't have a meeting. Usually when meetings of this nature occur, the lbs is put on the spot and tries to bargain w/the mlcer. If you are paying lawyer fees, then let your lawyer negotiate w/his lawyer. You do not need the unncessary aggravation.

I would simply state that your lawyer is available to discuss any issues that his lawyer may need to address and leave it at that.

As for putting a bargaining chip on the table for him to attend AA or Al-anon meetings...and in return, you would go to this meeting...I wouldn't do that. Not to sound cruel, but this is not a game of "dare"...you want to remain professional at all times because this separation/divorce is a business deal, i.e., contract that has been defaulted on.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.