The coutdown to SS' graduation is almost over! H and I will be heading down to NC sometime Friday morning. Got lots to do when we get there to set-up for the party at my in-laws' place. I'm so excited!
Nothing much different on the M front. Still spending time together in the evenings watching TV and talking - but not about our M. H is still out of work because of his knee, but should be back at work on Monday. Ordinarily I would have been freaking out because of what him being out of work means for us financially, but I haven't. I mean, yes it's been on my mind, but I haven't badgered him about it or said anything sarcastic. So that's a 180 for me!
I think I am going to call and set up an appointment with Cheryl for either Friday or next week to get some suggestions on what my next steps should be. I still don't know what the status of H's A is. I do know that I've called at the normal times he would have been talking to her (figured this out when I first found out about the A), and he hasn't been on the phone (thank you Verizon for that little call waiting tone!). Granted that does not mean he hasn't talked to her or hasn't texted, but there is definitely a pattern shift.
I have been thinking about the A to myself some, which I need to stop. It's questions I've asked him before, and course got no real answer (or ones that I liked). Like how he could lie to my face, and be okay with that? At what point did he tell himself it was okay to have an A? And what did he think I would do when I found out? Was he ever planning on me finding out? Just random questions that could send me into a tailspin if I thought too long on them.
I'm not feeling too much in limbo, even though I am. Most of the time I feel pretty good about my own progress, and I definitely don't think about my sitch as much as I used to. Still trying to be realistic and remember that we're not D yet, but it could still happen, while working on the suggestions Cheryl gave me before. Detach, but work on your marriage. Funny concept. LOL
