But asks all the best questions...you do have to really honestly look at your motives...
and also if the worst thing that happens is S has dinner at 9pm it's not the end of the world. You can't control the schedule when S is at H's. And if H always feels like his care of S isn't up to your standards and he's not doing it good enough...well I imagine that's not a feeling you want him to feel.
My son was born when I was a teenager. I went to a parenting class and they said don't scold the baby's father when he does things slightly wrong, don't badger him every two seconds about holding the baby perfectly. Make him feel like he's doing it perfectly. And I'll never forget the look on my son's aunt's face when his macho teenage dad changed his diaper. She was like he knows how to do that??? If you have legitimate concerns that S's safety is at risk that's one thing otherwise just practice letting go.
