Originally Posted By: Autumn Leaves
Originally Posted By: labug

I was paying my H back constantly for injustices (supposed) in the past. I see it all so clearly now that it makes me cringe. My demeanor, my tone of voice, my body language.



Something I have been working on lately as well, and I found myself cringing at times. Now I think it through, and give it 24 hours. If I still think a response is needed, I think just a little bit longer smile




The more I think about it the more I probably did it during the marriage and certainly during out split. There's very little I'd been able to say to him without some sort of spite in my voice or a second meaning after he met her. Or I was super friendly but all with an "end means" as Zig said.

I'm not making his R with GF about me anymore. It's giving it more power. It's giving him more power. Who the freak knows how this happened but I feel so calm and level about this whole thing.

2 things:
My sister made a point that every R I've had I've improved on the type of person and sitch I've put myself in/with. She said this means you're holding yourself in higher esteem. Who knows if in a few years you'll think why did I put up with his x, y, and z. I'm so happy I'm with New Man now. That's a good point. I did make this decision in the beginning because I wanted more and I convinced he didn't. I'm still not confident that he does want more.

2ed a friend of mine stopped me on the way out of work and talked about his FB activity and how another mutual friend noticed it too. She said it's just so weird. He's never on FB. He never checks in at places and now it's non stop with "GF's name" our other mutual friend was like who is this girl...when did she come on the scene? I said I know. I guess he wants people to know he does stuff. And she said I've just never seen him like this. He's more sensible. It's strange and I said yeah me neither, but I've hidden him. I don't want a play by play and she said that's a good idea.
And then I realized he's not thinking, because he's in new R haze. When you can't wait to tell everyone what you're doing and it's all so new and amazing. And look how fun we are! and look how much fun we're having. It's mind reading I know. But in a weird way it made me feel better...that maybe it's not the real him because he's drunk and infatuated and I know how that feels...you don't think of anyone but yourself.

I need a new thread title...Cadet is gonna kick me off!