I still struggle with it and operate thinking that there is something that I can say or do that will change the course of my situation. Almost as if I am just a few well-thought out remarks away from getting my w to open her heart back to me. Academically, I know this is not possible. Emotionally, I keep thinking it is.
This was me. This was soooooooooooo me!!!
We can't talk, or write, or do-good-works, nor "Nice Guy" our wayward spouses back to us. On the MLC forum, they have a saying -- "This is THEIR journey, not ours" and I think it fits. All you can do is work on YOU -- those authentic things about yourself that you really do think you need to work on (not some "re-writing of marital history," affair-fogged complaints, but the GENUINE improvements we need to make for OURSELVES).
And then let them go.
Ever see the movie "Swingers"? There's a classic scene in there where the one guy is telling the other guy that it's only when you've truly let her go, that she'll want you. It's SO true.
