My Marriage

[MrD]

Sandi,
Good info, I did ask what happened with the results. And W responded that the results were inconclusive and doctors office said they were sending them to another lab. W does realize I'm conserned also.
Another bit of info is the W is going into the same church introduction class as I did and the Pastor I'm talking with is running the class she is in. I've talked with him since and he was aware of it. At last Sunday's sermon W sat 3 ft away from me and the sermon was on raising children in a christian family. W left afterwards not saying a word and I socialized for a half hour after.
For me I've had a hard time sticking to the 37 rules and last Sat. night we got in our first fight in 15 years. I was sick of how she was neglecting the kids and her Grandma while I was sleeping(I work 3rd shift for the last 3 years)with her out running around all day and I yelled at her for this and her lack of commitment to work on the marriage and stop seeing her boyfriend. I told her to leave and don't come back until she appologizes to me and everyone that was helping me.
W yelled back about the last 10 years instead.
I felt good afterwards, and also felt bad about some of the things I said.
I'm still not sure what to do next.
A week earlier (under advice from the pastor) I asked her for forgiveness for the three thing she stated in counseling(professional)and she said yes. Then a couple of minutes later she asked me to forgive her about not talking about her feeling earlier, I also said yes. That afternoon and evening were bliss, she was so thoughtfull and nice and all bubbley talking about our up coming week schedule and putting my towel in the dryer to warm it up for my shower to get ready for work. Then as I'm getting ready to leave she says"I don't want you to think things are alright, I right now don't feel ant hope".
Ughh!