"Its interesting how even in these positive steps I feel the need to stay somewhat detached. I think there is a balance though. I need to take a risk to allow myself to be open and attempt being close. I just have to realize and accept that at any time W can pull away and forward progress can be halted or reversed based upon anything that might trigger her. That's just the way it is and the more I accept it, the easier it seems for W to feel safe to come close again."
of course you do - you've been through a lot of hurt and anguish and you can't just jump in like a switch turned on, and neither can she.
to me it seems as if your description above is the right place to be.
just make sure you catch the very tiny moves she's making. that list you found - i think that's really positive - it was 'given to you' so you can see better where she's making the efforts and then you don't miss a chance to reinforce them - so it's easier for her to make a slightly bigger one next time.
she needs to feel success at this on every tiny step, as much as you do.
i imagine it's so overwhelming for both of you at this point , that you both need encouragement and at the same time the tiniest things could make either of you feel very discouraged and hopeless.
i look forward to reading your updates ces and hope things get better and better
zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
