what doesn't help either is that those actions are difficult, and it is reinforced by the people around us - family and friends who disapprove also. so we can stay in the cycle longer because what we're feeling is being confirmed by others also, which seems to validate it more for us
YES!! My family and friends that I do talk about this all say "he's with someone else, he's flashing it all over FB, he tells you you're prettier and more fun but he's moving in with her. I wouldn't even talk to him." And when talking about other issues they say "yeah but what do you get out of it...sorry i wouldn't do that"
But yes....in my head I've decided my interactions with him have nothing to do with him. I approaching this as a learning opportunity for me. I'm not "doing something" for him. I'm being a person who is operating out of love and forgiveness instead of tit for tat you know? As soon as I shifted in my mind from thinking about him "should I really let him spend time with me the day he gets back from vacation with her????" To thinking....."Grace and forgiveness doesn't think that way...will I be happier with myself if I make up an excuse in order to hold some sort of resentment?"
I think the 180 for me is to not operate out of resentment or hold a grudge. When he's right it's not fair for me to have a grudge...
