Last night W volunteered with me at a fund-raising concert. I had the opportunity to introduce her to a lot of people I work with. She seemed to enjoy herself and pitched in an helped.
A few introductions seemed awkward (at least to me). A few people were very complimentary of me and said things about W being fortunate to find a good catch or whatever. She was pleasant but I wondered (past tense) what she was thinking about during those interactions. Oh well, doesn't matter.
We worked late and didn't get home until after midnight. S13 at to be somewhere at 8:00 so I volunteered to take him so she could sleep in. This morning I noticed some note she had written on a post it note on the table where she does her work. They read as follows:
-Ask questions to make a connection -Endear yourself with kind small gestures -Respect each others house rules -Handle your own family members -See something, say something
Not sure what she may be reading or where she's getting it from but it at least appears she is trying.
W & kids leave tomorrow for there 6 weeks back at our previous home. I'm heading up for a long weekend for Father's day. Yesterday W txted me asking if I had enough points that we could get a hotel room to stay at while I'm there. My parents are watching the kids that Friday and W and I are going out for our 20th anniversary dinner. Then I'll get a room for us to stay at that evening. I bought her a dress she liked as an early anniversary gift. She asked if I wanted her to wear that when we go out. I agreed.
Its interesting how even in these positive steps I feel the need to stay somewhat detached. I think there is a balance though. I need to take a risk to allow myself to be open and attempt being close. I just have to realize and accept that at any time W can pull away and forward progress can be halted or reversed based upon anything that might trigger her. That's just the way it is and the more I accept it, the easier it seems for W to feel safe to come close again.
Me:45, W:45 S:16 D:13 M:22, T:25 Bomb: July 2010 Putting finances in order for "D" Continue to live in same home-separate rooms
