I hope you will come back b/c I believe your M can be saved. Nothing about DBing should go against Christian belief. I encourage you to fill your time with your children first and then with church activities & study classes. You can grow spiritually and it will take focus off the W.
I would like to make a suggestion, even though you are probably not leaving any more roses on her pillow now. If there is a possibility that she had a cancer scare (or worse, the test came back positive) and if you never asked her about it.......she will not be able to get past that fact. Even if the two of you try to make the M work, that one thing will be a big hindrance for her. I believe you were showing you cared by leaving a rose, but the DBing way (and the Christian way) is simlply ask her if she received bab news. If she didn't, tell her you are glad. If she did, then she will need your support! Either way, she needs to know it matters to you.
In my signature line, I say to do what works, but there should be another line added that says, "Do the right thing".
You can still follow the 37 do's & don'ts. In fact, if you are going to stay under one roof with her.......it would be a guideline as to how to do that!
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
