I just posted about 8 years in a couple of paragraphs. More details: I could not see the texts from the att billing statement other that the times and numbers of texts. Many were late night after I went to sleep or when I was working another job.
Let me clear up what I left out of my first post. I found the emails and texts about a month ago, just shortly after the meeting with the counselor. Some of the short messages I was able to see said things like my H is working now and we can talk. The main thing is my W admitted to them when confronted. She described some of the conversations where they both said they should not be communicating like this.
BTW, I called the other guy and asked if he knew she was married with kids. Did he know he ruined a marriage? He admitted he shouldn't have done it and he would stop. In fact, he was cancelling his trip home to the reunion. He sounded remorseful but I wouldn't expect anything else. At least I got to say my peace to him which made me feel better. If he is telling the truth, my W will be livid I messed it up.
Also, after the first occasion, there were many counseling sessions to discuss many, many issues. One thing that I had to work on is to not always wanting to verify where she was or what she was doing. I had the attitude that I can't stop it if she wants to do it. Worked for a long time. Part of my sadness is realizing I probably wouldn't be able to get over it again. Would I constantly be checking up on her. I know that is no way to live. I am so torn right now....
