Thanks for the suggestions RT. I actually made a decision not to make any changes until after the divorce is final. At the moment i have no idea when that might be, if at all. Nothing has happened since my response to the petition was filed over a month ago. My H and I are also in the process of refinancing which was initiated by him. It's all very confusing, but I'm trying my best just to be an observer. I realize that when I ask direct questions (ie what does this mean?) my H is not ready to give answers and feels backed into a corner. There's really not much I need to know at this point, so rather than seeing it as being in limbo I am trying really hard to refocus myself. It's part of changing and giving up control. So hard! OK, so back to the beginning of my response. I've decided not to make any changes since one complaint my H had was that he didn't feel like he had a voice in our home, even when it came to decorating. (I know, passive-aggressive.)I disagree, but that's how he feels. So, being mindful of that, I will keep things the way they are so should he come back we can do redecorating together. I have wondered though if he will see that as nothing ever changes. So in others words, it might be that I can't do anything right in his eyes. I do understand wanting to make your home your own. Creating a inviting home which reflects and show cases those that live in it is a passion of mine. I hope you enjoy the process and feel great about the results.
That's great that you've worked on your faults and are working on being a better father and role model for your kids. I posted early on about the lack of mentors in our society. There is so much elders in our communities can teach us. Couldn't we all guide young, married couples who are just starting out? Most of us have learned and grown a ton and have a lot of wisdom to share. I wish my H and I would have had someone to guide us so we might have avoided the pitfalls. What's going to haunt me is now having all of this knowledge that I might not ever have a chance to apply to my marriage. I pray to God throughout everyday for a second chance to get it right.
