this rocky path WILL smooth out

[zig]

i didn't have to deal with it - he didn't bring it up. instead he wanted a smoke together on the deck and we talked in a surprisingly relaxed manner about s - laughing and joking a bit. the conversation was almost with an intimate tone at times.

he kept giving me these rather "piercing'" looks - sort of intently.

i stayed very sweet and relaxed - which i did feel, and very happy inside myself. i know that i look wonderful these days - and very happy and very confident.

i kept the conversation as brief as possible and got up before he did - which made him realize that they better get going. i had had a disco channel playing on pandora when they came in, and there was an abba song on (whom i absolutely love - heck i'm indian and indians love abba!!!!). and at the door, instead of being all painful as he usually is, he sort of danced a little bit. (which was a bit significant as there's a bit of a story behind that)

very strange!!

i saw them off cheerfully - s was being brave - i could see that but i just let him go off cheerfully with lots of kisses - as many as he could bear that is.

interesting shift - first time after he was with ow that he made contact right away - it usually takes him a few days to be able to "face" me - or at least that's what it felt like. and now, being friendly right away AND the mustache gone?

hmmm

strange times, is all i can say - i'm stable here- not getting affected and facing the reality that tomorrow he could be the opposite and acting the alien.

need to start a new thread. i've had a lot of questions here, and hope they will get answered , but will start a new thread before i get locked in

oh and i worked well today - got my etsy shop opened finally - about time!! need to do a lot of work with that to get it really good - but one step at a time - gonna apply my DB skills to everything - how exciting!!

the best part was talking to my dad this evening - my mom had just told me how he'd had a pretty bad day with his dementia. we had the warmest loveliest conversation, and at one point he said to me zig you sound different , you sound great. and i said yes dad, i feel great. and then he said your voice sounds so confident and happy. and i was so proud to tell him that yes that's exactly how i felt. and it really touched me because he and i are great together but he doesn't really "connect" with anyone more intimately.

so can i have a semi-detachment party now?

heck if i'm doing this well after he's been with ow for 8 or 9 days, i'm on my way to TURTLE LAND!!
i'll explain in my new thread.

zig