When it's a one-way street...part 6

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Re: the boating, I suppose the DB approach would be to just go boating with him and find a way to enjoy it. If you just can't do that, then "His Needs, Her Needs" suggests that you both do a "recreational activity inventory", compare your lists, and focus on the ones you share. That means that if boating is on his list and not on yours, then you don't go boating together. If gardening is on your list but not on his, then you don't do that together either. If you have no interests in common at all, then you either make a longer list until you find one, or you agree to each compromise on something off the other person's list -- but the key is you choose which one, not them.

I was just reading last night how it's very common for the woman to engage in these activities with men they are dating, but after they're married they're no longer interested in doing them. Men are very surprised by this and wonder why you changed? It says the path to success is to find something you can continue to do together, and the path to failure is to pursue divergent activities on your own. That's what the book says -- personally I can't imagine giving up skiing because my W doesn't like to do it anymore, but things I'm less passionate about I have given up.

WRT the blistered feet, it's horribly frustrating when my kids do stuff like that. My son likes to walk on slippery wet rocks wearing jeans and his sneakers. Me: "Don't do that, you're going to fall in the water and get wet!" Him: "No I won't I do this all the time." (Splash) Then he has to walk home in wet shoes and pants and I feel badly. Unfortunately, nothing you can do about that. Now your husband is a grown man, so I might not even suggest he change his footwear. He knows you're going for a walk, if he can't figure out that loafers are a bad choice, he'll learn. I bet he won't wear them next time!

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