This might be last chance??

[Mach1]

Pickle, .007, and Drew posted much of this before me. And although it is much the same, at some point, it will be said so that it is heard....

On my side, I know there is great advice on here and people are only looking to help. But no one knows my W like I do.

Very true...

BUT....

Did you KNOW that she was capable of walking away ?

I know what has gone on hasn't worked, but I am still in her life. She would welcome all those attractive qualities, but she does not care that I have those cause she says she is moving on with her life w/o me in hers.

Insanity is doing the same things over and over again, while expecting different results.

You know it isn't working, yet you admit you do those things still...

The "but" is your excuse to not do better. Every time I see the word "but" used, it becomes a disclaimer to everything preceding it.

I want to stop smoking, BUT they still make cigarettes...

So whose fault does that become ?

The "but" , becomes an excuse for poor behavior...

I know I am sounding like the victim, but when we both met, we said that it was fate because this was our one and only chance at this.

Who said that it was the ONLY chance at this ???

As far as being the victim...

Not only are you sounding like one, you are playing that role very well.... (The "buts" are tell-tale)

You know this, yet you still ALLOW yourself to show that side of you...

I would ask "why" do you allow yourself to do that ?

I do see that in most cases, detaching makes the WA start to think... But in my W's case, it will only solidify her stance with our sitch.

You know this to be fact ?

Or your assumption ????

One of our biggest problems was we were both stubborn. As you can see from my posts, I am stubborn. Very stubborn. But she is twice that of me!

Monkey see, monkey do ???

Change the "you", in that equation

It would end up that I just gave in because I didn't want to fight anymore. She is very independent and would rather do things on her own rather than count on anyone but her own family. Have you ever heard of the person that would rather look good and lose than look bad and win? As soon as I completely detach, she is going to move on and put "us" out of her mind like it never happened. I do not see a chance that she would even consider coming back because, in her mind, it is her being weak. This is her way and there is nothing that can be done to sway her decision. She resents the fact that legally, we are married now.

You are trying to read her mind.....STOP

Is this about "winning" to you ?

Look man, I'm not all about busting your chops here...

You have been ignoring some pretty good stuff that has been posted to you.

At what point will you slow down, breathe, and listen to the wisdom that has been given to you ?


Right now, her choice is to leave the marriage...

What things led her to that decision ?

Those are her things.

Can you change her mind ?

My question would be....Would you rather have her back because you did something to manipulate her back ????

Or would you rather stop, look, and listen. Change your thought process, and make better choices, so that you can enhance your next relationship? Which BTW, it is entirely possible that it can be with your current wife.

Your post count is getting pretty high, and I expect this thread to be locked soon....

How about you start a new thread, and start working toward healing, and identifying the things YOU could do differently, in the future.

???