LITB, I have just recently read your recent posts and I want to truly say how blessed you are to reconcile your family. I am sure there is no one else in the world that is happier.
On my side, I know there is great advice on here and people are only looking to help. But no one knows my W like I do. I am scared to death that the more I detatch, the more I am at risk of her being gone from my life. This is exactly what she wants. She wants me to move on with my life... for whatever her reasoning is, she wants to seperate our lives so that time will take away the fact that we were ever together. I know what has gone on hasn't worked, but I am still in her life. She would welcome all those attractive qualities, but she does not care that I have those cause she says she is moving on with her life w/o me in hers.
My problem is I CANNOT get over the why! Why would she wait for 2 1/2 years for this to come out if she felt this way in the beginning? Why would she change her mind about wanting more children, rather than tell me up front about any reservations? I cant get over any of this. I know I am sounding like the victim, but when we both met, we said that it was fate because this was our one and only chance at this. Now I am left with no W, no family, no children, a SD that I might only get to see very sparingly, no home, and all that comes with all of these things.
I do see that in most cases, detaching makes the WA start to think... But in my W's case, it will only solidify her stance with our sitch. One of our biggest problems was we were both stubborn. As you can see from my posts, I am stubborn. Very stubborn. But she is twice that of me! It would end up that I just gave in because I didn't want to fight anymore. She is very independent and would rather do things on her own rather than count on anyone but her own family. Have you ever heard of the person that would rather look good and lose than look bad and win? As soon as I completely detach, she is going to move on and put "us" out of her mind like it never happened. I do not see a chance that she would even consider coming back because, in her mind, it is her being weak. This is her way and there is nothing that can be done to sway her decision. She resents the fact that legally, we are married now.
