Last Resort Technique - Can I correct problems?

[jks]

It definitely seems like the activities your W is doing with you and your kids may be a bit premature. Honestly, how can she expect you to be ok with her doing "family" activities and acting like a W to you and then running back to OM whenever she feels. If the tables were turned, I'm guessing she would never be ok with this. It seems like there may need to be some boundaries set.

I feel your pain so much because I am in this very same situation. However, my H hasn't reached out yet to do any activities with me. So this is a lot to think about if and when that day comes. One thing my H did say to me is that he didn't feel like he could fully commit to me unless he ended things with OW. That may seem obvious but I think the fact that he realizes that does show some level of respect. (as messed up as that sounds)

She does not respect you right now. Going very dark is the best thing to do to get your self-control back and start detaching a little more. The time away from my H lately, for me, has really made it a little easier to detach from him. I'm not completely there yet, but I'm seeing changes in me.

It's almost like the little bits of time that you get with W are just teasers, reminding you of your heartache every time she leaves you and goes with OM. That is not fair to you. I wouldn't know how to best say anything to W on setting boundaries... maybe someone else could chime in??

This would be something I would need help with as well... (if the time ever arises)

I would not look at this as making things worse, though. Just take a step back and continue on with going dark.