He's been a bit tough today, and he wants to talk to me at the baseball game tonight. I will not, it is not the time or the place. I am there for my son and will watch the game.
Previously I was leaving every other weekend to let him stay here with the boys because his temp living situation is not good for overnights. He has made no effort to find a new living situation, has spent his weekends boating, partying, heading to the mountains with friends. So he has had plenty of time.
I spoke with my L and she suggested I should not allow it any longer. It is a clear boundary violation, confusing for the kids and probably for him (which is why he is telling people he is moving home eventually).
I told him this morning that things will be changing. He lost it. I detached. Thankfully I had my appt with IC today and I feel prepared to have this discussion at the appropriate time.
I dropped off additional paperwork for the financial hearing but we are still waiting on the court right now, it is out of the L's hands until we hear from them.
Was just thinking about your court date Rick. Best of luck. Be sure to update us later!!
Thank you both for the birthday wishes!!
Sadly, as mindfull mentioned, there is a slight grey cloud over the day.
Last night STBX called me and informed me that he will be moving home this weekend as "this isn't working for him and he is too disconnected from the boys"
He said that he checked with his L and it is within his rights. I left a message for my L last night and plan to get on the phone with her first thing this morning. There has to be some type of order that can protect me from this.
This will be the worst thing he can do for the kids. I am so angry and can't believe that he is this selfish.
Thanks Val!! I am finding strength that I didn't know I had today.
I just hung up with my L and she said that it is very difficult to get exclusive right to the marital home but not impossible. She is using the fact that I run my business from here. She is calling my STBX since there is not yet a L on file for him. She will either talk to him or get his L info and talk to them.
She said she plans to mention his alcohol and drug abuse, and tell him that we had no intention of using that but may have to.
If he does happen to come back here, I will do everything in my power to protect my kids. I will move them both into one room and take the other for myself.
I just cannot believe this is even happening, did not see this coming at all
Thanks Val!! I am finding strength that I didn't know I had today.
I just hung up with my L and she said that it is very difficult to get exclusive right to the marital home but not impossible. She is using the fact that I run my business from here. She is calling my STBX since there is not yet a L on file for him. She will either talk to him or get his L info and talk to them.
She said she plans to mention his alcohol and drug abuse, and tell him that we had no intention of using that but may have to.
If he does happen to come back here, I will do everything in my power to protect my kids. I will move them both into one room and take the other for myself.
I just cannot believe this is even happening, did not see this coming at all
Sounds like a pretty sharp attorney lady.
You got a really good team, Autumn -- lean on 'em. Starting with the Big Guy Upstairs, and all the way around. You're going to need them ALL, but you will also do JUST FINE, and so will your boys.
You got a really good team, Autumn -- lean on 'em. Starting with the Big Guy Upstairs, and all the way around. You're going to need them ALL, but you will also do JUST FINE, and so will your boys. Starsky
You are so right!! I am very lucky to have the great support system that I have, and the Big Guy is at the top of that list.
So the latest update:
My L talked to him and he has not yet retained a lawyer as he previously stated. Shocking that he lied, I know
He suggested that he is paying 75% of the household bills currently and would continue to do so until a support order is in place if he could have the following:
-every weekend in the house with the kids (she said no)
-every other weekend in the house with the kids (she said no and there is a reason you are apart, you are asking for too much time)
They finally agreed on every other Saturday noon to Sunday noon for a period of two months. He originally said until divorce is final but she said no.
She suggested to me that this is fair as long as he is paying, so I agreed to it.
She suggested that I should secure anything I do not want him to see or get his hands on.
He agreed to surrender his key to my office building, but I will be changing the locks anyway.
So its not ideal but its not as bad as it was last night either. She is drawing up the documents and emailed us both. He said he has to review the document with his attorney after he retains him so it will be next week.
Now I plan to not think about him, get some work done and enjoy the rest of this birthday. I will not let him ruin it for anything
My L talked to him and he has not yet retained a lawyer as he previously stated. Shocking that he lied, I know
He suggested that he is paying 75% of the household bills currently and would continue to do so until a support order is in place if he could have the following:
-every weekend in the house with the kids (she said no)
-every other weekend in the house with the kids (she said no and there is a reason you are apart, you are asking for too much time)
They finally agreed on every other Saturday noon to Sunday noon for a period of two months. He originally said until divorce is final but she said no.
She suggested to me that this is fair as long as he is paying, so I agreed to it.
She suggested that I should secure anything I do not want him to see or get his hands on.
He agreed to surrender his key to my office building, but I will be changing the locks anyway.
So its not ideal but its not as bad as it was last night either. She is drawing up the documents and emailed us both. He said he has to review the document with his attorney after he retains him so it will be next week.
Now I plan to not think about him, get some work done and enjoy the rest of this birthday. I will not let him ruin it for anything
This sounds like a winner!!! WAY better than how it was looking last nite!
Happy birthday to youuu.... Happy birthday to yooouuuu.... Happy birthday dear Au-tummmm..... Happy birthday toooo yoooooouuuuuu...
