She has given me two stark choices, neither of which are pleasant for me. Either ratchet up the legal side and get adversarial (which will validate all her "friends" advice) or compromise (cave in again) and contionue to allow her to set the agenda and call the shots. I am going to get advice on what my options are should I decide that I want back in the house full time.
UKVA - I don't have anything really in the way of specific advice, I think MrBond is doing a great job here. I did want to note that your phrasing here jumped out at me. I think this is a false dichotomy: you don't have "only" two options here. But good for you for talking to an L about your options. If you are interested in saving your M, be clear with your atty about this in your discussion. If L tells you to go nuclear/give up, find a new atty.
