Please, advice & feedback on saving my marriage

[UKVA]

I now know that the flowers were a problem, wish I had that insight back in January. I made lots of mistakes back then, and really have only been DBing for 6 weeks, so I know results are way way off. Maybe the bottle of wine might work, with a little note.

What is she still angry about? Everything as far as I can see. Right now I suspect her anger is at me detaching, because I have tried really hard to go as dark as one can when kids are involved. I used to go round behind her clearing up her mess, figuratively and sometimes literally, but I dont do that any more. She is angry that I would not agree to her having the kids all week and me just having weekends during the summer, and saw my suggestion of the opposite as a refusal to compromise.

Today I am going to contact an atty just to get some advice. She has given me two stark choices, neither of which are pleasant for me. Either ratchet up the legal side and get adversarial (which will validate all her "friends" advice) or compromise (cave in again) and contionue to allow her to set the agenda and call the shots. I am going to get advice on what my options are should I decide that I want back in the house full time.