I honestly think Ry had to go into hospital for 2 reasons -
1. it is obvious that his skin condition is out of control. Every day was a new dilemma. I could not take it anymore.
2. I think God saw me struggling with decisions and drama and needed to give me some peace to be able to think clearly.
But as most people know - the hospital is NO BREAK! New dilemmas and decisions began the minute I arrived. Hospital dr says that an acute care hospital bed is not the place for Ryan - first - he can be treated at home (yeah - I've been doing THAT for 28 years!) and second - the longer he will be in hospital - the more chance he will catch something else (yeah I know - he caught MRSA in the hospital).
I met the Charge nurse and she was helpful. She could see my struggling and decision problems (I did not discuss the agency). When I mentioned lack of continuity with drs (my clinic rarely answers the phone - so without being able to make an appt - we sit there for several hours every week and often see a different dr). I had been forced (by the damn agency) to get a dr within 24 hrs one day last year. Again - it was that pressure - either you get a dr within 24 hrs or we won't be your agency. The other problem is that Ryan's dr (I DO like her but she is always rushed) does not have hospital privileges - so we have to take whoever. So - she mentioned some drs who might take us on as patients who have privileges. And without saying it exactly (it is unethical) - kind of insinuated that maybe we don't have a really good dr. OK - well - that is what I need to know - I had been feeling that might be necessary but with no "ins" in our new town - was not sure what my options are. And a decent dr is better than no dr. She agreed to help me.
Ryan was in good spirits yesterday but I could not spend the whole day there as my daughter was visiting. I got him a new cd player and a couple of cds and left early afternoon. Came home and agency called me immediately. She had just stopped in hospital (dodged a bullet there) right after I left. Of course she wanted to get involved with discharge planning and needed my permission. Which is, of course good when she is my agency, not so good when I'm in turmoil over it.
I then spoke to the government supervisor who is always very helpful. She and the other agency who subcontracts my agency have been chatting at my request. They are not so sure there is anyone better out there who would be reliable. They also have a bit of a problem with us meeting to talk about mine. I know they want to help but there can be problems. Still -we are still on for Friday. She believes that Josh and I together need to sit down and talk with the agency head and lay things on the line. Mostly about how much stress she is putting on me and about how much we can and cannot afford.
Then there were a series of calls from the hospital. So much for a peaceful afternoon with my daughter. More on that in a bit...
